Agency in your relationships

Happy Saturday!

This newsletter is tailor made for anyone who hates networking.

No need to raise your hand…I see you!

While much of what we discuss today can feel unnatural, I encourage you entertain the idea of what life could look like with stronger relationships working for you.

OK, we’re talking about control.

Let’s get curious about gaining agency in your relationships.

If you reached out to 10 people in your network asking about job opportunities and nobody helped you…

I’d do a little audit and ask yourself:

1) What can you tell me about what’s going on with each one of those people?

2) What’s their biggest friction point in life (personally and/or professionally?

What I find, more often than not, is that the principle failure in networking (much less relationship building) is being hyper-focused on ourselves.

Bob Burg wrote a fantastic book called The Go Giver.

One of the first things I did while reading that book was audit my own relationship building behavior.

I began seeing where I was overly focused on me. Where I was too fixated on what I needed and treating interactions like transactions. All of those behaviors and beliefs were holding me back big time.

Being a “go-giver” vs. subservient altruism

When people begin flexing agency and control over their relationships, often they swing the pendulum a little too far into serving others.

They feel awkward or uncomfortable balancing their wants/needs with how they can help others. Asking for help while helping at the same time can feel like a tricky dance.

My tip to being a go-giver and having relationships accelerate your life boils down to this.

The other (very important) part of gaining agency over your relationships is doing a better job of embodying the things you want.

The social signaling that happens when you put more intentionality behind your “vibe” is incredible. You can do this via text, on a Zoom call, or even in-person grabbing a coffee. Show-up for them being fully present and listening.

By doing these things, you give others an experience where they fully sense how smart, kind, and resourceful you are.

KEVIN’S RECOMMENDATIONS
More to get curious about

📌 Dealing with “Go-Takers”- This YouTube Short does a great job of explaining what to do if you find yourself repeatedly getting tangled up with “Go-Takers” or people who take advantage of you.

📌 How to Network if You’re an Introvert - This Tedx Talk from Rick Turoczy helps those who see networking as “self-serving.” Hilarious and insightful, this video should have millions of views. But the idea is to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.

With Q2:2024 just a few weeks away, this newsletter will begin to explore new values.

Universal principles that seem to come up more and more with each client I speak with lately.

If conversations around Profitability, Impact, or Freedom sound interesting — stay tuned.

Kevin

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