Health: Conflicting thoughts and behaviors

Author

Kevin Kermes
January 20, 2024

Welcome to my Newsletter!

This is a weekly roundup of inspiration that’s helped me in the three most important areas of our lives: health, wealth, and relationships…

and my hope is that they’ll help you too.

Each Saturday, you’ll get access to carefully curated lessons taught and discussed on a theme…many of which are pulled from our work at the CreateNext Group.

This month’s theme is: choice.

Alright, let’s get curious about healthy choices.

HEALTH
Conflicting thoughts and behaviors

Quickmeme

Do you ever stop and notice how your thoughts and actions are at odds with each other?

For me, I occasionally get this knot in my chest where unconsciously I’m aware that something is off…but I can’t quite place my finger on what it is.

Well, it turns out that’s just the psychological phenomenon known as cognitive dissonance rumbling around inside of me.

And it’s one of the biggest setbacks holding us back from achieving our health goals. Some common examples of cognitive dissonance include:

  • Drinking, even though we know it is harmful to our health

  • Eating meat, even though we view ourselves as animal lovers

  • Endlessly scrolling on our phones, even though we hate wasting time

New year, same contradicting choices

Many of my conversations so far this year have really focused around wanting to make healthier choices.

And I’ve come to believe that every choice we make (even the bad ones) is actually some part of our brain that believes its trying to do what’s best for us (even if it actually hurts us).

Weird right?

So here’s how I’ve been trying to reduce my own cognitive dissonance.

1. Experience internal psychological tension.

2. Slow down. Stop. And then pause my thinking for just a minute.

3. Make a note of my internal conflict.

4. Ask myself, “Where’s the discomfort coming from?”

5. Observe if my behavior is at odds with a core value of mine.

6. If so, ask myself, “Which value is being tugged on?”

7. Then, I’ll try to assess if my value is off or if my action is off.

8. Allow some time to pass and see if the feeling is still there.

9. If it’s still nagging at me, I’ll seek an outside perspective about my internal conflict (spouse, friend, coach). Ask them for their insights and “what’s coming up” for them.

10. Come back to my renewed values and lean on them for guidance.

This sounds really drawn-out and cerebral.

But the process happens in just a few seconds.

Also worth noting, I’m not able to do this process consciously all day, every day. I am human after all.

But I hope these tips help you with your own cognitive dissonance.

My recommended resource: Complete a values assessment worksheet to figure out what your values are if you’re unsure.

KEVIN’S RECOMMENDATIONS
More to get curious about

📌 Get a fresh start: Knowledge workers that are worn-out need to try these tips from the The New Yorker to avoid the Great Exhaustion.

📌 Mental shortcuts that hurt: David Sym-Smith’s 20 cognitive biases graphic can help you avoid screwed-up decision making.

📌 (New) New Years Resolutions: Resolutions are out. And Less of/More of lists are in. At least according to Codie Sanchez.

Well, that’s it for the first issue of my newsletter.

Did anything resonate?

Hit ‘reply” and share what’s coming up for you.

Stay tuned for next Saturday when we dive into: wealthy choices.

As always…

I’m in this with you shoulder-to-shoulder,

Kevin

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